TSWI :: Soul Food & Living Water

Think Twice About That Advice
By Yolanda Powell and William J. Powell

One of the most harmful pieces of marital advice that some women receive from well-meaning female kin is, "Never let your right hand know what your left hand is doing." In other words, don't tell your husband everything — especially about your money!

Unfortunately, heeding this advice has bred an atmosphere of distrust between men and women. Today it has become fashionable for a woman to be financially independent from her husband — filing income taxes separately, banking separately, paying separate bills, and fulfilling separate spending desires. This leaves some men to feel only partially responsible for the family they are supposed to be fully responsible for.

A combined checking account rids the marriage of these separate and secret compartments and fosters much-needed trust. This does not mean that a woman cannot establish a savings account or that husbands and wives cannot divvy up the family income in ways that are beneficial to their particular union. What must be avoided, however, are the secrets, distrusts, and insecurities that keep the marriage operating in the dark about its resources.

From Soul Food and Living Water, by Yolanda Powell and William J. Powell, A Focus on the Family book.

The Servant Leader
By Yolanda Powell and William J. Powell

It almost seems a contradiction of terms: servant-leader. Servants are thought of as lowly and meek. Their place is to serve those of greater esteem and stature. On the other hand, a leader is thought of as always being first, receiving the greatest portion and the highest honor. Jesus taught His disciples that whoever among them would be chief must be the servant (Matthew 20:27).

Despite all normal human assumptions, leadership is not determined by how much a man is exalted, but by how much he serves. In fact, the greatest display of leadership is one’s ability to directly serve those for whom he has responsibility and jurisdiction. A husband must put love into action if he expects his wife to be wiling to follow his lead. He must understand the power principle behind serving his wife, even as Christ serves the church, and garner the ideal characteristics of true leadership through service.

What kind of leader are we talking about? In his pamphlet “What Does God Expect of a Man?” Kurt DeHann describes biblical leadership as “responsible, compassionate, understanding, accountable, competent, respectable, authoritative, pioneering, exemplary, and God-fearing.” Being a leader does not mean making all the decisions. Nor does it refer to being the boss in marriage, in the church, or in society at large. Leadership implies taking the initiative, accepting responsibility, and shouldering the weight of accountability before God.

DeHann defines a servant as “responsive, respectful, willing, loving, self-sacrificing, and submissive.” Servanthood does not mean unthinking obedience. What it does mean is wiling ness to lower one’s self, to humbly serve another person, and to put the best interests of someone else above your own enjoyment. Christ, the perfect servant-leader excelled to the fullest in demonstrating all the attributes of both servant and leader as described above.

In our society, a leader who is not characterized by giving orders and commanding respect is often labeled weak and ineffective. Stuart Scott in The Exemplary Husband also writes of leaders who serve. He states:

Serving does not lessen one’s authority or leadership. Instead, it enhances it — especially the leading-by-example aspect. One who leads as Christ leads is always thinking of others, not self. He is willing to sacrifice his own comfort and even his own well-being for those he leads. He is willing to put himself last, prefer others, and even serve those he leads. Christ gave us an amazing example of serving when He humbled himself by washing the disciples’ feet.

The message to His disciples rings loud and clear. If Christ was willing to be a servant, we should be too. Our wives are called to be a helpmeet (suitable) for us, but we must be willing to be a servant to her. As we demonstrate service through leadership, she is free to reverence and complement us.